I grew up in
what I like to call the age of plain names.
In school the most popular names were Anne and John. In fact, in my small high school class we had
two couples named Anne and John. But I
first became aware of the uniqueness of my name in my family. My siblings’ names were Bob, Susan and
Bill. And I am Leecy. No one could get my given name right. People would call me Lisa or Lucy or most
often say, “that is a cute nickname, what is your real name?” I got so tired of people asking me this
question that in the ninth grade my best friend Chris and I made up a “real
name” for me: Leesandra. It never really
caught on.
Names are important because they
help shape our identity. From my
childhood, I always knew I was different. I just never knew if that were good
or bad. My sense of being odd man out came
to a head my first year on Crusade staff.
I was assigned to the University of Northern Colorado in Greeley. I had asked to be assigned to a school in the
Midwest but I decided the folks at headquarters in California were
geographically challenged. Everyone knows Colorado is in the middle of the West
not the Midwest.[1] From the minute I stepped onto campus, I felt
out of place. Everyone in Colorado carried
a backpack and I looked foolish with my purse.
Being outdoorsy was required—which is why I learned to ski. Mostly I felt I unaccepted by my
roommate. She was the “senior woman” on
our staff and was supposed to me showing me the ropes as my staff trainer. When I had joined staff, I developed
unrealistically high expectations of the role my trainer would have in my
life. She would not only teach me all I
needed to know but be an inspiration and confidant as Barbie had been. In
reality we were polar opposites. She was
a morning person; I am a night owl. She
had been a college athlete; I am a complete klutz. In reality she was more
interested in pouring her life into the students she had already worked with
the year before. She saw my training as
a duty that often fell to the bottom of her to do list. I was hoping that at least during the summer,
I would have an assignment where I would fit in better. When my director told me that I was assigned
to work with students at a summer camp, I thought he was kidding. Why would they assign the least outdoorsy
person in the world to summer camp? But he
assured me this was no joke. I tried to
be happy about it and dutifully filled out the application needed for the
camp. In May when I went home to visit
family and supporters and tried to put on a brave face about camp. Then I got a last-minute reprieve. Someone must have figured out that I am not
the camping type and I was reassigned to the Panama City Beach Summer Project.
Arriving in Panama City was like coming
to an oasis after a year in the desert.
It was so refreshing to be around people, none of whom I had ever met
before, who accepted me for who I was and even seemed to like me. Through their love and encouragement, I was
able to begin to accept myself, quirks and all.
That summer I understood for the first time that God created me the way
I am and He wants me to be myself. After
all, only I could be me. I started to
see myself as God sees me: part of His wonderful handiwork:
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, You are still with me!
(Psalm 139:13-18, NLT)
This was the beginning of learning who I am in
Christ. Next to the good news of God’s
love for me, knowing that I am in Christ and He lives in me is the truth that
has most shaped my life. Over the years
I have had multiple opportunities to study and teach the book of Colossians
which so clearly outlines these truths. First,
I found that when I trusted Christ and began to follow Him, I went from death
to life. As far as pleasing God was concerned,
I was dead. Pleasing God in my own strength was therefore an impossible
task. But thank God, “When I was dead in
my sins and in the uncircumcision of my flesh, God made me alive with Christ.
He forgave me all my sins.” (Colossians 2:13, NIV, personalized). Not only am I now alive with Christ but
Christ Himself has chosen my heart (and yours too) as His dwelling place: “the
mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now
disclosed to the Lord’s people. To them God has chosen to make known among the
Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope
of glory.” (Colossians 1:26-27, NIV) My identity is not determined by the
family I grew up in, my education, my work, my hobbies or my friends. My true identity is found in Christ:
Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all His glory. (Colossians 3:1-4, NLT)
My real life is hidden in
Christ. When God sees me, He looks at me
through the lenses of Christ. When God
sees me, He does not see my faults, failures and sins; instead, He sees the
righteousness of Christ: “Yet now He has reconciled you to Himself through the
death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, He has brought you into His
own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before Him without a
single fault.” (Colossians 1:22, NLT) One of my favorite hymns clearly explains
this truth:
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.
In Christ I have everything I need.
I am complete. I am accepted. I am loved.
I can be myself because that is who God created me to be. I don’t have to pretend to be someone else to
get you to like me be because I am secure in who I am in Christ. This frees me up to genuinely care about
other people because I am not (most of the time at least) concerned about
winning their approval. God says I am
accepted in His beloved Son[2]
therefore, people’s acceptance of me is not such a big deal.
Learning the Lesson:
It has taken a lifetime to learn the lesson of being
myself. One practice that has helped me
is reciting an affirmation of who I am in Christ. For a while, I would read this aloud to
myself each morning. My affirmation may
help you. If not, I encourage you to
write one for yourself that speaks to the truths of your identity in Christ as found
in Scripture. Here is my affirmation:
- v I (fill in your name) am a child of God. I have been adopted into God’s family. I am completely accepted in His Beloved Son. Long ago He settled on me as the focus of His love and no matter what happens, He will keep on loving me. God sees me through the lens of Christ as holy and blameless above reproach.
- v I (fill in your name) belong to God. I have been
bought with a price, the very precious blood of Jesus, therefore my life is no
longer my own. I glorify God with my
body, honor Him with my tongue, I worship Him with my mind and trust Him with
my heart. No matter who signs my paycheck, I work for God. Whatever I do I give
it my all. I thank God for the good
things He has given me and rely on His promise to meet my needs today.
- v I (fill in your name) am a new creation in Christ. I
enthusiastically join God in the work He is doing. I am Christ’s ambassador encouraging people
to be reconciled to God. God’s Spirit
lives in me and works through me as I embrace His call to service.
- v This is my birthright, my inheritance in Christ. Although I am far from perfect, I do not
dwell on my past (and neither does God).
Instead I press on, always striving to know God better and become more
like Him. I may face hard times but I
won’t quit, I may get discouraged but I won’t give up. This world is not my final destination. I’m
on my way to the heavenly city. My
reward is to see God smile and say well done.
- v Today, God’s mercy is new, so by His grace, I will
live this day for Him[3].
[1] More likely they just ignored my request and put me where
there was a need.
[2] See Ephesians 1:6, KJV
[3] Based on Ephesians 1:1, Romans 8:28-39, Colossians
1:22, Philippians 2:15, 1Corinthians 6:20, 1 Peter 1:19, Matthew 22:37,
Proverbs 3:5, Colossians 3:23-24, Psalm 103:2. Philippians 4:19, 2 Corinthians
5:17-20, John 14:17, 1 Peter 4:10, Ephesians 1:11, Philippians 3:12-14, 2
Corinthians 3:18 Galatians 6:9, Hebrews 12:3, Hebrews 11:16, Matthew 25:21,
Lamentations 3:22-23, Philippians 1:21
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