As I said, the summer of 1976 was a memorable one in many ways. But most memorable was the flood and the long-lasting impact it had on my life.
At the end of every summer, the ministry I was working for had a training for all of the campus staff members at Colorado State University. After a wonderful two months at Panama City Beach, a fellow staff member and I took off on a cross country road trip. We ended up in Ft. Collins on Friday evening before the training conference started on Sunday morning. When I got to the lobby of the dorm I would be staying in for the conference, I was excited to meet my old friend and mentor, Barbie Leyden. During my junior year at Duke, she and I got together every few weeks to study the Bible. She imparted so much wisdom to me. One day while we were sitting together in the Duke East Campus snack bar, Barbie explained to me what heaven would be like. She really lit up with joy as she contemplated seeing Jesus. Barbie also wrote a letter of recommendation which went a long way toward me being accepted on Campus Crusade for Christ staff. That night we had only a few minutes to talk because Barbie had to get up early the next morning. She was going on a retreat with the other women in ministry leadership. It was just supposed to be an overnight get-together at a dude ranch in the Big Thompson Canyon less than an hour away. She was planning to be back Sunday, so we would have plenty of time to catch up properly. Or so we thought.
I don’t remember what I did on Saturday but I do remember on that night even though the weather was beautiful in Ft. Collins you could tell there was a major thunderstorm in the mountains. Lightening lit up the sky and you could see the outline of the Rocky Mountains.
Sunday morning, we started the conference with the unbelievable news that there had been a massive flood of the Big Thompson River and all 35 of the women at the leadership retreat were missing. The news was almost incomprehensible because usually, despite its name, the Big Thompson is a small, shallow river. But that thunderstorm the night before had dumped 14 inches of rain on Estes Park at the top of the canyon. The water had nowhere to go but down. As it passed through the narrow canyon it gathered up steam and near the bottom of the canyon, where the dude ranch was, it had become a wall of water destroying everything in its path.1
I only remember two things from those two weeks of staff training. First, we were relieved to find out that most of the women, including Vonnette Bright, one of the co-founders of the ministry, had been rescued. At the same time, we were grieved to learn that seven of the women, including my dear friend, Barbie, had drowned. I was stunned when I heard the news. It was so hard to believe when I had just seen her a couple days before so full of life. She was only 26 years old. It was the first time a friend of mine died, so her passing left a whole in my heart.
The other thing I remember is that sometime during this overwhelming sorrow, Ney Bailey, another one of the women who had been rescued from the flood, got up to speak. Her talk had been planned long before all this happened but recent events gave it a whole new urgency. Her talk was entitled Faith is Not a Feeling and I will never forget it. Not because I have such a great memory but because I got the cassette tape of this talk and listened to it dozens of times over the next 20 years until it got eaten up by the cassette player.2
For several years, Ney had been on a quest to understand what faith meant. She thought she was on the right track when she came across the story of the centurion:
When Jesus had finished saying all this to the people who were listening, He entered Capernaum. There a centurion’s servant, whom his master valued highly, was sick and about to die. The centurion heard of Jesus and sent some elders of the Jews to him, asking Him to come and heal his servant. When they came to Jesus, they pleaded earnestly with Him, “This man deserves to have you do this, because he loves our nation and has built our synagogue.” So Jesus went with them. He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: “Lord, don’t trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have You come under my roof. That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to You. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, He was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following Him, He said, “I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel.” Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well. (Luke 7:1-10, NIV)
Since Jesus said the centurion had “great faith”, it is worth looking at what the guy said and did. First off, he told Jesus not to bother coming all the way to his house. This was a bit odd seeing as the officer had sent for Jesus in the first place. Then he explained that it was enough for Jesus to say the word and he knew his servant would be healed. After all he was an authority figure used to being obeyed and he reasoned that Jesus had authority over the forces of nature so that if He gave orders for the servant to be healed, it would happen. The centurion demonstrated faith in Jesus but taking Him at His word.
In her talk, Ney went on to explain that we exercise our faith when we choose to believe God and take Him at His word in spite of our feelings. Our emotions are a wonderful God-given part of who we are. But we can’t let them dictate every choice that we make. As Ney encouraged, we need to remember that:
- God’s word is truer than anything I feel.
- God’s word is truer than anything I experience.
- God’s word is truer than any circumstance I will ever face.
- God’s word is truer than anything in the world.3
Having listened to her talk so many times, these thoughts became a lens through which I see the world. In countless situations, I have used the formula that Ney outlined as a way of putting devastating feelings into perspective: “Lord, I feel…but, Lord, Your Word says…”4
- Father, I am so depressed that this relationship did not work out but Your Word says, “For your Maker is your husband — the Lord Almighty is His name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth.” (Isaiah 54:5, NIV)
- Lord, since I lost my job I am overcome with fear and anxiety, but Your Word says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’” (Jeremiah 29:11, NLT)
- Heavenly Father, even though I am over 50, I feel like an orphan since my Mom died, but Your Word says, “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” (Psalm 27:10, NLT)
Even after 44 years, when I think about the flood and the loss of my good friend, Barbie, tears well up in my eyes. Even though I only knew her for a short time, she made a lasting impact on my life. Two things she taught I will never forget. First, God’s will for your life is not so much being in a certain place or doing a certain thing for Him, instead it’s the place where He can best show you His love. Secondly, I remember from our conversation in the Duke East Campus snack bar, that heaven is a wonderful place that I can eagerly anticipate. Barbie did. And I know she is enjoying herself now.
Learning the Lesson:
As you study God’s word, you will learn that it is truer than anything you feel or experience. Obviously, I don’t know the troubles you are facing or the challenges that are headed your way, but I do know that as humans we all deal with emotions that can overwhelm us. I put together a few of the passages that help me when I feel inundated by my feelings:
So the next time you are tempted to let your emotions carry you away from God, tell Him, “Lord, I feel…but, Lord, Your Word says…”using one of the above passages. As you continue to do your life by the book, God will show you your own personal antidotes to anger, anxiety, bitterness, depression, envy, fear, hurt, loneliness and whatever else attempts to derail your faith.
______________
[1] For more details about the flood and its impact on all
who knew the women, I suggest you watch the video, The Lord Reigns Over the
Flood: https://youtu.be/qaR5tLTur0c
[2] For the younger generations, a cassette tape was an old
school form of a podcast. However, the
recording was done on magnetic tape which was wound up in a little plastic box
about the size of my iPhone. This was a great recording device except
occasionally the magnetic tape would get stuck in the player and if it was
really bad the only way to get it out was to cut the tape. Fortunately, Ney Bailey later wrote a book
also entitled Faith is Not a Feeling which you can still get on Amazon.
[3] Bailey, N. (1978). Faith is not a feeling. San
Bernardino: Here’s Life Publishers, p. 24.
[4] Bailey, N. (1978). Faith is not a feeling. San
Bernardino: Here’s Life Publishers, p. 25.
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