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Lesson 10: Loving God Means Being in the Sheep Business---10.3 Wayward Sheep

        Linda [1]was a new believer.  She was full of joy and excitement about her new life in Christ.  She had become involved in our church and joined the small group Bible study that I was leading.  One Saturday afternoon, Linda invited me to her home and we decided to take a walk to a nearby park.  On the way, she began telling me about her life before she became a Christ follower.  She had been addicted to various drugs and had a promiscuous lifestyle.  Her old way of life had felt like a trap and she was glad Christ had set her free from it.  She was clean and sober now.  Linda told me she wanted to do things God’s way and she intended to wait until marriage to have sex again.

        But her old life kept calling her back.  As far as I know she did not turn to drugs again but sexual temptation was a real struggle.  She wanted to meet a man who would cherish her but the guys she met did not have the same convictions she did about being sexually pure.  We had many long talks where I tried to encourage her to keep walking with Jesus and to stick to the commitment she had made to purity.

        She began dating a guy who was not following Christ and he began pressuring her to have sex with him.  Not long after they starting dating, I got a call from Linda telling me she was moving in with this guy.  She was convinced that what she was doing was okay because after all, “Oprah was a Christian and she lived with her boyfriend.”  Linda wanted me to tell her I agreed with her decision.  She wanted me to tell her that God would be alright with it.  I told her I loved her. I told her I would still be her friend.  I told her I hoped she would keep coming to our group.  But I just could not tell her what she was doing was right.  The Bible teaches, “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18, NLT)  The sad thing is that Linda knew all too well from personal experience the destructive effect sexual sin can have on your soul.

        Unfortunately, Linda dropped out of our group and stopped attending church.  Since she had moved in with her boyfriend, I had no way of contacting her so we lost touch. (This was also in the days before cell phones were ubiquitous).  Linda had become a wayward sheep.

        The Scripture says, “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on Him the sins of us all.” (Isaiah 53:6, NLT)  I think straying away happens both before we join Jesus’ flock and afterward as well.  We often return to our old patterns of living when life becomes hard and we lose sight of Jesus.  In fact, right before Jesus told Peter to, “feed my sheep.” Peter and a bunch of the other disciples had gone fishing.  He returned to his old lifestyle, even though by this time he knew Jesus had risen from the dead. (See John 20 & 21).  He went back to his old profession even though Jesus had told him, “From now on you’ll be fishing for people!” (Luke 5:10, NLT)

        When I say all of us have wandered off from Jesus, I do not exclude myself.  It’s just that my wanderings are less obvious, sometimes even to myself.  In his life-changing book, The Prodigal God, Tim Keller says that in the parable known as the Prodigal Son, there are really two lost sons.  One who left home and ruined his life in such a spectacular way and the elder brother who stayed home and stewed in his self-righteous pride and indignation.  Keller contends that people usually fall away from God like one or the other of these brothers, though sometimes we can bounce from one sin pattern to another.  I have always been the older brother type of sinner.

There is a big difference between an elder brother and a real, gospel-believing Christian.  But there are also many genuine Christians who are elder brotherish.  If you came to Christ out of being a younger brother, there is always the danger of partially relapsing into addictions or other younger brother sins.  But if you become a Christian out of being an elder brother, you can even more easily slide back into elder-brother attitudes and spiritual deadness.  If you have not grasped the gospel fully and deeply, you will return to being condescending, condemning, anxious, insecure, joyless and angry all the time.[2]

        Each of us goes astray in our own way.  We turn back to our old ways of life hoping that will lead to our fulfillment.  Linda went turned back to seeking a man who would secure her significance.  I return to thinking I am better than other people. I wrongly hope my “moral superiority” will prop up my insecure ego. Guess what?  Neither path brings the peace and joy we experience when we trust in and follow Jesus.

        But thank God we have a good shepherd, who knows us and has laid down his life for us.  When we go astray, He does not say, “good riddance.”  He comes after us to bring us back:

So Jesus told them this story: “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away! (Luke 15:3-7, NLT)

        Now for the rest of the story about Linda.  Jesus proved Himself to be her good shepherd as He sought her out and brought her back to Himself.  A couple years after our final conversation, I was on my way to help get ready for our church’s Easter celebration.  On the way, I ran out of gas in my car.  I walked about half a mile and back to get gas and put it in my tank.   After this delay, I knew I was too late for the pre-service meetings, so I went directly to the gym where we were meeting at the time to find a seat.  Who was just down the row from me—-Linda and a young man she introduced as her new husband.  This was not the guy she had moved in with.  Although she did not go into all the details, she said she realized that moving in with that guy was a mistake. However, Jesus had wooed her back to Himself.  Afterward, she had met her husband who was a Christian man.  That Easter was the last time I saw Linda. I believe she and her husband decided to attend the more traditional church he had grown up in.  But I think it was no coincidence that I ran out of gas, making me arrive just in time to sit near Linda.  I believe God wanted me to see that He takes care of His sheep.  He loved and cared for Linda much more than I did, or ever could. 

        This brings us full circle back to lesson one. You can rely on God’s love.  When you reach out to help one of God’s sheep, remember He is ultimately the one who cares and protects them:

My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from Me, for my Father has given them to Me, and He is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand. The Father and I are one. (John 10:27-30, NLT)

Learning the Lesson:

        Congratulations!  You have made it through all 10 of the Life Lessons Worth Learning Over and Over Again.  Hopefully you have learned a thing or two along the way.  I pray that at least one of these lessons will stick with you and come to mind when you are in a difficult season.

        For me, whether or not anyone else reads the book, writing this has been a wonderful experience.  It has caused me to look back over my life and see all the many ways God has been drawing me to Himself over the years.  I am so thankful for all my experiences and the friends I have met along the way.

        For this last lesson I urge you to take the time to reflect back on your life, however long or short it has been so far.  What would you say are your top 10 life lessons?  Think about it and write them out below (Since this is the blog format why don't you share them in the comments for everyone to see):

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

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[1] Not her real name.

[2] Keller, T. (2008).  The prodigal God:  Recovering the heart of the Christian Faith.  New York: Penguin Group, p. 70.

Lesson 10: Loving God Means Being in the Sheep Business---10.2 Unlikely Sheep

When I was involved in campus ministry, our organization had a particular strategy for reaching the university for Christ.  We were to concentrate our efforts on impacting the “movers and shakers” on campus.  So we went to the sororities and fraternities, the student government and the athletic teams to present the good news of Jesus.  The idea was that if we could influence the influencers we could see the whole college community impacted by the claims of Christ.  This seemed like a very logical approach to making an impression.  There was only one problem with this plan.  It’s not the way God does things.

God always choose the least likely people to join His Kingdom.  He uses the downtrodden underdogs, the overlooked, the under-appreciated, and the last ones chosen for the team:

Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And He chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God. (1 Corinthians 1:26-29, NLT)

The motto of our church is “no perfect people allowed.” I love this because it means everyone, no matter how much they have messed up in life, is welcome.  Also, it means that I fit right in.  My former pastor Stan Coleman’s definition of the church is, “a colossal collection of 21st-century sinners gathered together to experience grace and to broker the good news of the past into the present.”

When I was in campus ministry at Indiana State University, we had a student everyone referred to as Weird Harold (after a character in the Fat Albert cartoon series which was popular at the time).  Harold was a talented art major, who like many creative types lived in a world of his own.  In no way did he fit the mold of the “movers and shakers” that our ministry was supposed to be targeting.  Nonetheless, Pete, one of the student leaders in our organization, took Harold under his wing.  He became a regular at our campus Christian meeting and became the most dedicated and enthusiastic Christ follower on campus. 

I got to know Harold better when I started mentoring his girlfriend and later wife, Brenda.  Brenda was one of the shyest people I have ever met.  It was a great challenge to get her to answer the most basic questions I would ask her.  Yet Brenda, through Harold’s encouragement, was also a devoted Christ follower.  As a couple, Harold and Brenda definitely did not qualify as being, “wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy.” (1 Corinthians 1:26, NLT)

However, Harold and Brenda’s love for God was contagious.  Whenever we had new students come to our fellowship or training meetings, I would ask them, “who invited you?”  Nine times out of ten, the answer was Harold and/or Brenda.  Naturally, the people they invited were not the fraternity presidents, student government leaders or star athletes.  They were other students whom the majority might think were uncool but who longed for the love and acceptance that Jesus offers. 

Since Harold cared very little about what people thought about him, he was willing to do almost anything to help spread the good news of Jesus Christ.  One time our group was sponsoring a special event on campus to present the claims of Christ to the campus community.  Harold got a refrigerator box and painted it in bright colors with large lettering advertising the meeting.  Harold went to the busiest pedestrian intersection on campus, got in the box and walked up and down the sidewalks inviting everyone he met to the meetings.  I have a photo of Harold in the box in my scrapbook, as a reminder to me that, “God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important.” (1 Corinthians 1:28, NLT)

I spent a lot of years going to church with people who mostly looked like me, had the same educational background and had the same socio-economic status.  When I started attending South Palm Church, I had an eye opening experience.  The first small group I attended was all women who were very different from me.  The leader of the group in whose house we met at rode a Harley.  She was the first woman I ever met who was a biker.  One of the other women in the group was a single mom who was struggling to make ends meet.  Another woman’s boyfriend was currently in prison.  None of these women had advanced degrees or came from the safe suburban environment I had grown up in.  My view of those Jesus includes in His body, the church, became experientially much broader.

It is so easy to bring our preconceptions and prejudices into the church.  Even though we know we are saved by grace, in practice we seem to think people need to clean up their acts before we can invite them into the church.  Since I call myself a recovering Pharisee, I easily fall into this way of thinking:

Later, Matthew invited Jesus and His disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners.  But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked His disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum?” When Jesus heard this, He said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.” Then He added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: ‘I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.’ For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” (Matthew 9:10-13)

It took me a long time, even though I grew up in the church, to come to point where I trusted Jesus as my Savior.  I just did not think I was a sinner (big mistake).  But the unlikely people, the people whose wrongdoings have become obvious to themselves and everyone else, these are the people Jesus seeks out. 

Learning the Lesson: 

I love James Washington’s take on unlikely sheep:

If you step back and look at the big picture of the Bible, it becomes obvious that God uses people in the strangest ways to carry out his will. Maybe I should say He uses strange people to do so. After all, just like now, it's the people, the men and women of the Bible, who are given spiritual fortitude to exercise heavenly strength here on earth. Moses was a murderer; Paul killed a few Jesus lovers in his day; Rahab was a whore; and Jacob was full of shortcomings, just to name a few.[1]

Read the following passage and answer the questions below:

God wasn’t attracted to you and didn’t choose you because you were big and important—the fact is, there was almost nothing to you. He did it out of sheer love, keeping the promise He made to your ancestors. God stepped in and mightily bought you back out of that world of slavery, freed you from the iron grip of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know this: God, your God, is God indeed, a God you can depend upon. He keeps His covenant of loyal love with those who love Him and observe His commandments for a thousand generations. (Deuteronomy 7:7 -9, MSG)

• v  What is the world’s criteria for success?  Does God take any of our notions about success into consideration when He chooses to use someone?

• v  What does determine who God chooses to use?

• v  Based on God’s criteria, why do you think He chose you?

• v  In light of all the Scriptures mentioned in this section, do you think God is able to use you to accomplish His work today?

Is there anyone in your circle of influence that when you look at them you think: “God could never use them?”  Next time you see that person, say to yourself: “Since I think they will never be used by God, that means they are probably an “unlikely sheep” who God will use in amazing ways so that He alone receives the glory.

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[1] Washington, J. A. (2017, Feb. 26). The least likely are often called to do God’s bidding. Philadelphia Tribune. Retrieved from https://www.phillytrib.com/religion/the-least-likely-are-often-called-to-do-god-s/article_468c9f74-4183-5020-8ac0-411bf837d15e.html

Lesson 10: Loving God Means Being in the Sheep Business---10.1 Tending Sheep

I have a theory that every video recording ever made will one day be posted on YouTube. Even though this has not yet happened, it always amazes me what I am able to find on that app.   When I started thinking about this final “Life Lesson,” I remembered this silly Sunday school song, I Just Want to be a Sheep, Baaa.  Sure enough I was able to find this classic in an adorable animated video on YouTube.  Check it out.1 

Most people who know anything at all about the Bible know that sheep and shepherds play a pivotal role in the narrative.  At Christmas, the angels appeared to, “shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.”  (Luke 2:8, KJV) The most quoted poem in the Scriptures begins with, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” (Psalm 23:1, KJV) Jesus identified Himself as the Good Shepherd:

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows Me and I know the Father—and I lay down My life for the sheep.

The Bible uses the metaphor of the shepherd and his sheep not simply because sheep could be found throughout Israel.  Sheep are probably the most dependent domesticated animals on earth.  They can do almost nothing on their own.  They need to be led to food and water.  They need to be made to lie down in order to sleep.  They have no natural defense against predators. And they are easily led astray.  In Thomas Hardy’s novel, Far from the Madding Crowd, one of the main characters, farmer Gabriel Oak, loses his sheep farm when the eager, but untrained, sheep dog leads the whole flock of sheep to jump off a cliff.  We are just like sheep.  We rely on God to supply our needs.  We rarely get enough sleep.  We need God’s protection.  And we so easily fall into self-destructive behavior.

When we follow Christ the Good Shepherd, He engages us in the sheep business.  After the resurrection, the disciples went back to fishing and Jesus met them for breakfast on the beach:

After breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” “Yes, Master, you know I love You.” Jesus said, “Feed My lambs.” He then asked a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” “Yes, Master, you know I love You.” Jesus said, “Shepherd My sheep.” Then He said it a third time: “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was upset that He asked for the third time, “Do you love Me?” so he answered, “Master, you know everything there is to know. You’ve got to know that I love You.” Jesus said, “Feed My sheep”. (John 21: 15-17, MSG)

Clearly here Jesus is equating loving Him and taking care of His sheep.  But, you may object, Jesus was talking specifically to Peter, the leader of the church.  This may apply to pastors and other leaders in the church today but it doesn’t apply to me.  However, as God’s flock, members of his family, we are called to love one another:

We love because He first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And He has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (I John 4:19-21, NIV)

And how do we show this love to one another?  Biblical love is not some Hallmark movie sentimentality.  It is caring for people’s practical needs, feeding them body and soul, pointing out the rest Jesus provides, warning of pitfalls of life and offering a hand up and a second chance to those who have fallen or gone astray.  Love is an action verb:

Little children (believers, dear ones), let us not love [merely in theory] with word or with tongue [giving lip service to compassion], but in action and in truth [in practice and in sincerity, because practical acts of love are more than words]. (I John 3:18, AMP)

Just because all followers of Christ are in the sheep business, this does not mean that we will all take care of the sheep in our lives in the exact same way. Each of us has been given a unique set of abilities, gifts, talents, personality, interests and experiences.  No one can say that they have nothing to offer their fellow human beings. Peter told God’s people, “each of you has received a gift to use to serve others. Be good servants of God's various gifts of grace.” (1 Peter 4:10, NCV) We’ve all been given a gift to use in caring for people but we express our concern in different ways and different places. Paul tells us, “we all have different gifts that God has given to us by His loving favor. We are to use them.” (Romans 12:6a, NLV)

One of the spiritual gifts and interests that God has given me is teaching.  You don’t have to have mastered a subject to teach it.  When my brother-in-law Jim was in the Navy, he was an instructor in the Supply Officers Training School.  Each week he studied the chapter of the book just before he taught it to his students.  All that was required of him as an instructor was to be just one step ahead of those he taught.  The first time I led a Bible study just months after I started following Christ, I don’t think I was even one step ahead.  In fact, I think most of the girls in my dorm who joined the study knew more about the Bible than I did.  But I had a willing heart and a teachable spirit so God honored my efforts. 

Since then I have been caring for God’s sheep by teaching one on one, in small groups, in larger groups, in person and through my writing.  Recently I am embarking on a new shepherding adventure.  Last summer, I heard a radio broadcast on which Jack Alexander, author of The God Guarantee said, “Everyone who has lived for a few decades in a broken world has areas of their lives that they feel should be off limits, even to God. These are the tender areas of our hearts, the places we feel may break if we touch them. But often, these are the very wilderness places God calls us to use to serve others.”^[2]

My wilderness experience was dealing with my mother’s mental illness. My mother suffered bouts of depression all through my growing up years and later she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. For the last 17 years of her life, I was my mother’s primary caregiver. This was a very isolating experience because I did not know anyone who understood the challenges I was facing. It has been nearly 10 years since Mom died and I feel that God could use my experiences including all the mistakes I made to encourage other people who are caring for family members with mental and/or physical illness.

Shortly after I made the decision to start a support group, I joined the wonderful church family of Church by the Glades Lake Worth.   There I met Kerry Russo, who has also served as a caregiver for several members of her family.  I shared with Kerry the vision for a support group.  She has taken this idea and really run with it.  Her energy and enthusiasm have been instrumental in making this group a reality. Kerry shared the idea of a group with Bill Lares also from CBG Lake Worth, who spend nine years lovingly caring for his wife who suffered from dementia.  So the three of us are starting Common Ground Friends Support Group and are eager to see how God will use us to encourage others on their caregiving journeys.

Learning the Lesson:

Crosswalk.com gave some practical ways you can help care for fellow believers.^[3]  You can encourage anyone if you utilize these ideas.  Think of someone who needs a lift and choose one of these actions to raise their spirits them in the next few days.

1. Pray for them

2. Understand them

3. Write to them (via text, email or even send a card through snail mail)

4. Call them

5. Eat with them

6. Listen to them

7. Help them

8. Invite them

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[1] jrpruitt317. (2012, November 8). I just wanna be a sheep baa baa baa [Videorecording]. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/tpYgYoNGM38

[2] Alexander, J. (2017). The God guarantee: Finding freedom from the fear of not having enough. Baker Books, p. 151.

[3] Hough, C. B. (2017. September 18). 9 ways you can care for others in the context of the church. Retrieved from https://www.crosswalk.com/church/giving/9-ways-you-can-care-for-others-in-the-context-of-the-church.html

Lesson 9: A Good Friend is Worth Her Weight in Gold---9.3 You’ve got a Friend

The soundtrack of my college years was Carol King’s Tapestry album. Everyone in my dorm had a copy of it and it seemed like it was constantly playing somewhere.  One of the many classic songs from this album is entitled, You’ve Got a Friend which has since been recorded by many other artists. The refrain went:

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you've got to do is call

And I'll be there, ye, ye, ye

You've got a friend.[1]

I have been privileged to have many good friends who will show up when I need them.   For some odd reason, three of the best ones have been named Kathy (all spelled with a K).  I met the first Kathy, Kathy Wade, at the Experiencing God study. Neither of us were members of the church where the study was being held so it seems like we were destined to meet.  I knew right away that we were kindred spirits.[2] She was a foreign missionary to the Caribbean, working as an editor[3] on all the Sunday school material used on the islands.  Because it was easier to fly to the various countries she ministered in from Florida, her work was headquartered in the Fort Lauderdale area.

Even though we lived nearly an hour apart from each other, we often found ways to get together after the class ended.  Even when she moved out of Florida seven years later, our friendship continued to thrive.  Throughout our years of friendship, Kathy has followed the command to “…in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:3b-4, NIV) For example, when I was having the procedure to have the hole in my heart closed, Kathy knew that my elderly mother was going to be very anxious as she waited at the hospital.  As she was by then living in Oklahoma, she could not be there in person so she arranged for a friend that still lived in Florida to come and keep Mom company that day.  This kind gesture was greatly appreciated by both mother and daughter.  Also, when my Mom died, Kathy quickly arranged to come visit me at Christmas time because she knew how difficult that first holiday on my own was going to be.  Ever since we have spent every other Christmas together enjoying the Florida sunshine.

I met the second Kathy, Kathy Caprio, just a few years later.  We quickly discovered we have two loves in common: love for God and love for the movies.  Over the years we have seen hundreds of movies together.  Some of them have been memorable—standing for hours waiting to see the opening night of Spiderman, Michael Collins which was so depressing it became our standard for a bad movie, The Ghost and the Darkness which made me decide never to watch movies where animals eat people and The Lives of Others[4], a haunting look at the moral dilemmas faced by those living under the Communist regime in East Germany.

For more than 20 years we also worked together at our church to promote our most important love for God.  At first Kathy was the head of the women’s ministry and later she joined the church staff as the Next Steps Pastor.  Most memorable of the projects we worked on were the digital devotionals we put together for various holidays and sermon series.  Members of the congregation would submit their 150-word devotionals and Kathy would ask me to serve as editor (although each time I would swear to never do it again).  After I finished the initial editing, we would have long sessions where we would try to put the 40 or so separate entries into a cohesive whole.

But more than just a buddy to hang out with or a ministry partner, Kathy has proved herself to me as a faithful, caring friend.  She exemplifies what it means to be Christ like by “shar[ing] each other’s burdens, and in this way obey[ing] the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2, NLT) When Kristine had taken me to the hospital after I had the stroke, she must have called Kathy who showed up in the emergency room with another friend Mary.  As we were doing what you mostly do in the emergency room---wait---my three friends kept me distracted and even laughing until the doctors showed up.  When my mom was dying in hospice, Kathy came.  Since my siblings had not yet arrived from out of state, she sat with me and prayed and sang over Mom who was mostly unconscious. Since mom died, Kathy has been my emergency contact and health care surrogate, which is a completely thankless job. 

The third Kathy, Kathy Johnston, I have just gotten to know well the past couple years.  We were in a church life group which met at my house for two years.  It became clear to me that Kathy’s spiritual gifts are helping and hospitality: “When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them [she always does]. Always be eager to practice hospitality [she always is].” (Romans 12:13, NLT) This past Spring provided two perfect examples of her helpful and hospitable nature.  Since my dear cat Gracie had died in the fall, my boss Amy (world’s greatest animal lover), thought I would be the perfect person to adopt the abandoned cat she had rescued.  I reluctantly agreed.  The cat, who I named Mel, however, was not too happy about this arrangement at first.  Leaving his familiar neighborhood and being in a strange new environment totally traumatized this already distressed cat. He hid from me during the day and whined incessantly at night while I tried to sleep.  After a sleepless week, I was actively trying to give Mel away.  Then came Kathy to the rescue.  She suggested that putting him in a small space and letting him adjust to that would be a good idea.  She grabbed Mel from one of his hideouts, behind the microwave in my kitchen, and placed him in my den. The den became Mel’s room. I could close the door and get some sleep.  This may not seem like a big deal but it illustrates that being a friend in the little struggles of life can often be big blessing to someone. 

In April, I wanted to give a surprise birthday party for our friend Vella.  She was turning 80 and had never had a party for her birthday.  I picked out the restaurant where we would meet, invited Vella’s friends and Kathy did everything else.  She bought the cake and decorations. She got to the restaurant early to set up and greet the guests.  She even arranged for the band to play Happy Birthday at the appropriate moment.  Vella was totally surprised and pleased.  Kathy’s hospitality in action was a major contributor to what Vella called one of the best days in her life.

My Kathys have shown me what it means to love as Jesus loved:

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. (John 15:12-15)

Learning the Lesson: 

Advice columnist, Wendy Atterberry, wrote an article for the Huffington Post entitled, Showing Up: The Single Most Important Thing a Friend Can Do[5].  I wholeheartedly agree. 

Take a few moments to think about Atterberry’s suggestions for becoming the type of friend who shows up.

ü  Do I budget enough of myself (my time and emotional energy) to show up for my friends when it’s necessary?

ü  Do I say no to enough things that don’t matter so that I have the energy and time to say yes to the stuff that does matter?

ü  Do I clearly communicate to my friends when stuff really matters to me and listen for what really matters in their lives?

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[1] King, C. (1971). You’ve got a friend. On Tapestry [Record]. Hollywood, CA: A & M Records.

[2] I don’t know where this expression originated but I first learned it from Anne of Green Gables and it has been a favorite saying of mine ever since.

[3] And I must say a big thank you to Kathy Wade as she put her editing skills to work and edited this book for me.

[4] Kathy Caprio is one of my few friends who will go to foreign language films with me.

[5] Attenberry, W. (2016, April 13). Showing up: The single most important thing a friend can do. Huffington Post. Retrieved from https://tinyurl.com/y3v36hhc